Who are the main characters? A man (An Agony. As Now.).

What do you know about the topic/story you are reading? It is a poem written during the civil rights movement.

What can you imagine that is not specifically outlined? I can imagine the desire to be someone else. The way this poem starts out it can speak to a lot of people who are not happy with who they are inside.

What do you think about what you read? I thought this was a cry for help. I thought a poet like figure was describing his distain for his own thoughts and feelings, and the more he noticed them the more pain he felt from them.

 How do you feel about what you read? What is your emotional response? I feel like his exploration of his internal self-being was creating hostile feelings. For example, lines 19 through 31 he mentions “pain” and “Or pain” several times as a theme he was experiencing. Also he battles with the notion of “flesh” versus “soul.” It is as if he is struggling to come to terms with who he is inside or who he wants to be, versus who he sees himself to be or who the world sees him as being. This conflict causes him great pain and discomfort. He further states “I am inside someone who hates me. I look out form his eyes.” This self loathing creates feelings inside that he does not like and in fact he references later by saying “It burns the thing inside it. And that thing screams.” I feel bad for him to view his self this way. I know people who have very low self-esteem and this poem made me think of them and how they feel about themselves. Those who have low self-esteem tend to be very hard on themselves and tend to view themselves with great pain and discomfort. They look at themselves and do not recognize the person in the mirror, which I felt like that is what this man was experiencing in this poem. He gave me the impression that he was a lost soul and everything beautiful in his life was corrupt. He was not comfortable in his own skin.

What do you want to learn more about? I want to know why he felt this way? What makes him self-hate the way he comes across in this poem? Was there a specific event that happened or a series of events to trigger this kind of thinking?

Think about the experiences you have just read about. How would you react if these events happened to you? I am not sure what specific events happened to this man. However, I do sympathize with his feelings about himself. We do not always enjoy ourselves, how we behave, or carry ourselves, so I can relate to his feelings about himself. We all must discover who we are and that can cause us to realize some not so nice things about ourselves. Also in trying to find ourselves, which I think is a life-long journey as we change our views and perspectives over time, so that we never really know who we are as a whole person. Instead, we only understand who we are at that moment in time, because as we change our views will change, so each revelation is a snap-shot of ourselves.

How does this reading relate to your own life? It reminds me we are not always going to like who we are, or we might not like everything we do or say. So for me it is a good reminder to take these feelings to heart but do not let them consume you. It is alright to be upset with your behavior, but learn from it and move on. Do not let yourself constantly dwell on this mistake and let it consume who you are, instead use it as fuel to better yourself so that next time you will act more in line with your expectations. No one is perfect and we cannot try to be perfect, so we nee to be open-minded towards learning from our actions. Also we have to understand that we are living-beings, which means we are constantly changing and not static. Thus, if you don’t like who you are today you have the chance to adjust that moving forward and even if you don’t consciously make adjustments over time change will happen through diffusion from outside influences.

Who are the main characters? A man in “An Agony. As Now.”.

What do you know about the topic/story you are reading? It is a poem written during the civil rights movement.

What can you imagine that is not specifically outlined? I can imagine his desire to be someone else. The way this poem starts out it can speak to a lot of people who are not happy with who they are inside.

What do you think about what you read? I thought this was a cry for help. I thought a poet like figure was describing his disdain for his own thoughts and feelings, and the more he noticed them the more pain he felt from them.

 How do you feel about what you read? What is your emotional response? I feel like the notion his exploration of his inside being were creating hostile feelings for him. For example, lines 19 through 31 he mentions “pain” and “Or pain” several times as a theme he was experiencing. Also he battles with the notion of “flesh” versus “soul.” It is as if he is struggling to come to terms with who he is inside or who he wants to be, versus who he sees himself to be. This conflict causes him great pain and discomfort. He further states “I am inside someone who hates me. I look out form his eyes.” This self loathing creates feelings inside that he does not like and in fact he references later by saying “It burns the thin inside it. And that thing screams.” I feel bad for him to view himself this way. I know people who have very low self-esteem and this poem made me think of them and how they feel about themselves. Those who have low self-esteem tend to be very hard on themselves and tend to view themselves with great pain and discomfort. They look at themselves and do not recognize the person in the mirror, which I felt like is what this man was experiencing in this poem. He gave me the impression that he was a lost soul and everything beautiful in his life was corrupt.

What do you want to learn more about? I want to know why he felt this way? What makes him self-hate the way he comes across in this poem? Was there a specific event that happened or a series of events to trigger this kind of thinking?

Think about the experiences you have just read about. How would you react if these events happened to you? I am not sure what specific events happened to this man. However, I do sympathizes with his feelings about himself. We do not always enjoy ourselves, how we behave, or carry ourselves, so I can relate to his feelings about himself.

How does this reading relate to your own life? It reminds me we are not always going to like who we are, or we might not like everything we do or say. So for me it is a good reminder to take these feelings to heart but do not let them consume you. It is alright to be upset with your behavior, but learn from it and move on. Do not let yourself constantly dwell on this mistake and let it consume who you are, instead use it as fuel to better yourself so that next time you will act more in line with your expectations. No one is perfect and we cannot try to be perfect, so we nee to be open-minded towards learning from our actions.

Who are the main characters? Esther, Mrs. Dickson, Mrs. Van Buren, Mr. Marks, Mayme, George.

What do you know about the topic/story you are reading? I understand the societal pressures and influences that are placed upon certain sexes, classes, nationalities, etc. that are at work under the surface in this play.

What can you imagine that is not specifically outlined? I can imagine the romantic pressure felt by Esther to find a man and the stigma associated with a woman her age during this time period and being alone. People would start to see her as something is wrong with her or damaged as the reason why she is not married yet.

What do you think about what you read? I thought about how Esther who normally was so cautious, conservative, and careful with her choices rushed to marry George. Again, I think the pressure of her age, the desire for something different beside the boarding room life she was living, and the time period really made her feel pressure to jump into this marriage.

 How do you feel about what you read? What is your emotional response? I felt sorry for Esther. She seems like such a nice, good human being. She was someone who really was headed in the right direction and had a lot to offer until she got side tracked with this idea of love and marriage. I think she wanted the idea of love and being married so bad that she let her emotions take over for her mind and she made a rash decision. I wish she would have stayed focused on her long term goal of owning the beauty parlor business, and work on the relationship with George (or other men) on the side. I have always felt like when a person is following their own passion and is busy taking care of their own business that the personal life will come, because the act of being driven and passionate about something attracts others to your positive energy. There is a say “that when you are looking for love you never find it, but when you least expect to find love that is when it finds you.” This phrase is what I mean and wish Esther would have done, instead of making an irrational decision, which was so out of character for her.

What do you want to learn more about? I would like to know more about all the characters. Is Esther pregnant, will she be able to overcome this and still find her dream? What happens to George, does he end up gambling and drinking his life away? What happens to Mrs. Van Buren, does she find the courage to break out on her own and find herself? What happens to Mr. Marks and his relationship with Esther, will they ever get together? How does Mayme move on from here, does she mend her friendship with Esther?

Think about the experiences you have just read about. How would you react if these events happened to you? I would be devastated if I was Esther and I worked so hard on my own all my life and in one night George “some stranger” throws away my entire life’s work and dream. It would be hard to pick up the pieces and start all over, when you know how long it took the first time.

How does this reading relate to your own life? It reminds me to separate the dream from reality. We all romanticize about certain things and that is fine as long as we understand that these fantasies are different from the reality. I am sure we have all heard the phrase “nothing is what it seems.” Well there are truths to this statement. To make things worse the human mind is bombarded with so much information that it is hard to sift through and pull out the facts from the fables. We see images on the idea relationship and a kind of “perfect love” being displayed in movies, in books we read, or even on television, but we all know there is no such thing as “perfect,” everything has its limits and flaws. So this story reminds us not to get carried away with the image of perfection and to instead believe in what you know is real.

Who are the main characters? Blackbird, a man, a woman.

What do you know about the topic/story you are reading? I am not familiar with much of Wallace Stevens poetry.

What can you imagine that is not specifically outlined? I can imagine a poet trapped inside of his mind with his thoughts and confusion about his thoughts.

What do you think about what you read? I think the over arching theme is, “why do people seek out that which they cannot have, versus what is right in front of them?”

 How do you feel about what you read? What is your emotional response? I feel like in the winter the blackbird is all that you can see, because other birds have migrated out of sight. So the author is asking why do people want what they cannot see or have? For example in the poem it states “O thin men of Haddam, Why do you imagine golden birds? Do you not see how the blackbird Walks around the feet Of the women about you?” To me this points out how there are blackbirds all around but in the minds of men they are dreaming of the golden birds (women) which are not there. The author is asking why dream of something that does not exist when you have perfectly good birds (women) right in front of you. Also because people are dreaming of or wanting what they cannot have, this creates a cage for their thoughts and traps them inside of their mind. For instance, “Icicles filled the long window with barbaric glass. The shadow of the blackbird Crossed it, to and fro. The mood Traced in the shadow An indecipherable cause.” So because people desire what they cannot have they create this prison for themselves, like in the scene stated above where the icicles are to me symbolizing bars on a jail cell and the shadow of the bird is flashed back and forth to remind us that the prisoner is stuck in here with the reality of the blackbird and will cannot be free to chase the fantasy of the golden bird. This cage or prison theme is carried over to stanza 11, where it says “He rode over Connecticut In a glass coach. Once, a fear pierced him, In that he mistook The shadow of his equipage For Blackbirds.” To me the glass coach symbolizes the cage or prison that people’s minds are trapped in while they try to escape to another mindset. People are using the coach to flee from the reality of the blackbird and to chase after their fantasy, but while on their way to escape reality they are frightened by what they thought were blackbirds. They got scared because their luggage resembled the blackbird shadow and they were afraid that they would never be able to escape reality and to find their dream, they feared the blackbird (who is reality) was going to follow them no matter where they tried to escape to.  

What do you want to learn more about? I wonder why artist people like “blackbirds?” For instance, The Beatles had a song called “blackbird,” Poe had the Raven, and other works focus on the blackbird or Crows, Ravens, etc. Why has this bird become so synonymous with darkness in art forms?

Think about the experiences you have just read about. How would you react if these events happened to you? I would react by looking back at the title “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird.” The title even states there are more than one way to look at something and see a different answer, so why limit yourself to just one image. I like to look at all angles of viewing something and try to see all sides of the situation, and I think this title supports my reaction.

How does this reading relate to your own life? Well as stated above I try to look at all possible angels, answers, outcomes, etc. I do not like to make rash, rushed decisions. I prefer to analyze things from different points of view to try and see what the best outcome is for me. I never like to just make a closed minded view or opinion of something because I am leaving myself open to missing the point, embarrassing myself with ignorance, or some other negative outcome. It is sad for people to be stuck in a “one way of doing things mentality” because they are missing the opportunity to discover other possibilities to life. I just want to keep myself open to life’s experiences.

Who are the main characters? The Ball Turret Gunner.

What do you know about the topic/story you are reading? I have studied history and I am familiar with the events and atmosphere surrounding WWII.

What can you imagine that is not specifically outlined? I can imagine the romantic and proud notion felt by young men enlisting in the military to serve their country. This was a badge of honor, or dare I say a “right of passage” for many young men back in the 1940’s. After high school everyone was not heading straight to college so some men decided to pass some time by fulfilling their patriotic duty by serving their country.

What do you think about what you read? I thought of how young men rushed to “serve their country” with romantic pride only to have that romantic ideal stripped from their mind at the harshness and brutality of war. I wonder if many of these men really knew before they signed up for the military what they were in for? I mean they didn’t have CNN with cameras right there on the battlefield, so was the public relations campaign by the military misrepresented for the times back then to the point that it lured young men without providing the real facts of what they were signing up for.

 How do you feel about what you read? What is your emotional response? I felt sorry for the Ball turret Gunner. I mean he went from his mother’s care to the care of the “State.” The State not being as protective of a man’s safety as his mother basically considered this young gunner as another soldier in the long line of gunners used throughout the war. As the Ball Turret Gunner crammed himself into that tiny space he faced tough conditions, both physical and mental. For example, physically he was wedged upside down into a very tight, almost claustrophobic space. In this tight space he faced cold temperatures from the high altitude that froze his wet fur. I imaged the Ball Turret Gunner mentally challenged as he waited for the enemy to approach. What sort of images and thoughts would a young man’s active imagination provide as company while he waited for combat? Remember he was isolated by himself in this tiny space away from the other crew members, so his company was mainly himself. We sort of get an answer with line three, which seems to hint at dreaming of life back on the ground. So while waiting he realized how life below on the ground seemed different unaware of the life he was about to encounter flying above. He probably thought of family, friends, and other loved ones back home and how he was eager to see them again, while he allowed himself to be carried away in his daydream. However, this dream of his did not last long as he was snapped back to reality by the antiaircraft fire. This reality became a nightmare for him, as he no longer envisioned the romantic notion of war as he was now faced the reality of literally fighting for his life. Of course by the end of the poem we learn that he did not survive and how the “State” just washed his remains out with a hose. This image comes back to the idea that the State just viewed him as a number or another piece of weaponry that can be replaced with the next soldier in line. This poem gives me the feeling that loyalty, pride, and nationalism became more of a one way street. The Soldiers felt this towards their country but the State only views the soldier as a piece of U.S. military property. I am not trying to undermine any aspect of the military I am just commenting on how this poet’s portrayal made me feel with the words he used.

What do you want to learn more about? I would like to know more about what it was like to be in such a confined space and facing enemy fire? What qualifications made a soldier fit for duty as a Ball Turret Gunner? I would think size had a big factor in determining who manned the gun in such a small space, but what else? Maybe eye sight, hand-eye-coordination skills, etc?

Think about the experiences you have just read about. How would you react if these events happened to you? I would be terrified to be a Ball Turret Gunner. I wouldn’t like being in such a small space, I wouldn’t like feeling like I stick out from the rest of the plane in that glass bubble, and I wouldn’t like being exposed to the extreme temperatures of being inside a glass bubble at high altitudes. I would not like known the last guy before me was washed out of the same space I am crawling into with a hose, because I know if I don’t make it that is what they will do to my remains.

How does this reading relate to your own life? It reminds me of how we need to remember that there are always two sides to every story. We sometimes forget the negatives that can happen to us and we only focus on the positives. We end up building images in our minds to be more romantic than what they might really be. What I mean is that we sometimes only focus on the positives certain situations can have for us and we forget that there might be a possibility of facing negative outcomes. We don’t like to allow the negative thoughts or the images of “what could go wrong” to enter our minds because it might cause us to freeze or it might unnerve us to the point that we run from what ever it is we are pursuing. So after reading this poem it reminded me to not get too high or too low on my image of the situation but to understand that this can go both ways and I need to be prepared for either outcome.

Who are the main characters? The oiler, the cook, the correspondent, and the captain.

What do you know about the topic/story you are reading? I have been on the water enough to understand the power of waves and the affect on a tiny boat.

What can you imagine that is not specifically outlined? I can imagine the feelings of being toyed with by nature. The helplessness felt by being in the middle of the open ocean. I can imagine how the human mind plays tricks on the mind and how our own imaginations can become our worst nightmares in situations like this.

What do you think about what you read? I thought of the play between nature and the men in the boat. For example, how “the birds sat comfortably in groups, and they were envied by some in the dingey, for the wrath of the sea was no more to them than it was to a covey of prairie chickens a thousand miles inland” (605). I think about how animals are more adapt to wilderness than humans, even though humans have the capacity to think, reason, and use logic it does not always work against the forces of nature whereas animal’s, who are labeled by humans as being less intelligent, have a more sophisticated internal instinctive nature to survive in such conditions.

 How do you feel about what you read? What is your emotional response? I felt emotion from the men’s point of view and this made me feel small. The waves kept coming one after another and smashing into the small boat. Not only did the fear of being taken under by waves come into play but then the fear of what lies beneath the ocean surfaced with the appearance of the sharks fin. The feeling of fear was challenged by the feelings of hopelessness. Each time these men thought something good happened or was about to happen it was taken from them. For example, the violent sea would calm and then a shark appears, or they saw land only to be driven back out to sea. Also stated on page 608 “that’s the house of refuge, sure, said the cook. “They’ll see us before long, and come after us.” Yet, no one came to save them as stated at the bottom of page 608 “funny they don’t see us.” The story gave me the feeling of being toyed with by nature. It made me feel like wilderness was reminding man of how small we are and how we are at the mercy of nature’s torturing acts. I echoed the sentiment by the men in the boat on page 612 “If I am going to be drowned-if I am going to be drowned-if I am going to be drowned, why, in the name of the seven mad gods who rule the seas, was I allowed to come thus far and contemplate sand and trees?” This sums up exactly that feeling of being toyed with, why would the wild forces at work let them get this far and not kill them in the beginning, unless the plan all along was to torture and play with these men’s fate.

What do you want to learn more about? I would like to know if and how this event changed the lives of these men, specifically in the way they lived their lives after they returned home? Did they remain in contact and form a close bond for having experienced such a death defying ordeal? Did any of them go back to working on a boat at sea, or did this event change the way they viewed the sea and their interaction with the sea?

Think about the experiences you have just read about. How would you react if these events happened to you? I would react in a similar way as these men. Inside I would be tired, stressed and fearful of my life, but on the outside I would try to remain calm and avoid mentioning the idea of death. I think in times of crisis a person needs to try and remain clam and think as clearly as possible despite the elements being faced. Running around like a chicken with your head cut off is not helping other people believe in their survival and it exasperates your ability to make rational decisions. I would also try to keep my mind’s imagination in check, what I mean is wondering about sharks under the sea or fixating on the cold and darkness only open the mind to be sabotaged by wild visions within your imagination. Theses visions can paralyze you from making sound choices and can cause you to act in a manner that jeopardizes your situation.

How does this reading relate to your own life? It reminds me of how insignificant man is against the powers of nature. All our knowledge and thinking ability becomes useless to the forces of nature. No matter how much we prepare or plan against certain things nature can always deliver something that we did not or cannot prepare for. We see the power of nature in everyday life as tsunami’s, hurricanes, tornados, floods, mud slides, etc. destroy thousands of lives in a matter of minutes. Human’s might think they are at the top of the food chain with no natural predators but nature always has a way to remind us of our place in the world by showing us that we are vulnerable to the forces of nature. 

Who are the main characters? Harry & Helen.

What do you know about the topic/story you are reading? I know a little bit about African safaris and the wild terrain.

What can you imagine that is not specifically outlined? I can imagine Harry’s struggle as he slips between reality and death, while images of his past flash before his eyes. I can sense his challenges of coming to terms with dying and how he tries to keep his mind off the topic of death and instead focused on other thoughts.

What do you think about what you read? I wonder what people really experience as they are dying? Do people really see in dreams, or a light at the end of a tunnel, or is the experience something all together different. It would be fascinating if technology could record what a person sees, feels, and experiences during death. I think a lot of people are fearful of death because it is the unknown and more importantly it is so final. Not many people experience near death events and return to tell there tales, and those people that do experience near death experiences I wonder how much of their story was real versus a dream. I think we have all had dreams that seem so real that even after waking up you question if it was just a dream.

How do you feel about what you read? What is your emotional response? I kept thinking how mean he was to Helen. She seemed like a good person who would do anything for him and that she did not deserve the way he treated her. I felt that if Harry was not happy with how his life turned out it was his own fault not Helen’s fault and he should take more responsibility for his life. I find it interesting that people flash back to events or times in their lives that they would have never recalled otherwise if not for their dying experience. It gives rise to the question of why some memories are so repressed in our minds that it takes death to bring them to the surface. I sort of feel bad for Harry because through his experience of dying he realizes what all he has not done. He comments on all the things he was going to write about and now he no longer has the chance. I felt sad for him that he feels like he wasted opportunities that might have enriched his life more when he was alive, but for whatever reason he did not act on these missed opportunities.

What do you want to learn more about? As I touched on above I would love to learn more about the experience of dying. What a person goes through, experiences, feels, and thinks as they are dying would be fascinating to learn more about if you could do this without having to actually die completely and never return. Death is a mysterious thought and to be able to shed more light on the events surrounding death would be something worth exploring.

Think about the experiences you have just read about. How would you react if these events happened to you? Rather than push people away and destroy what life I am leaving behind as Harry tried to do, I would take the opposite approach. I would let those I am leaving behind know how much I care about them and how important they were in my life. Even if I cannot say all good things about those I am leaving behind, I would rather not say anything about them versus destroying them. As my mother use to say “if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.”

How does this reading relate to your own life? It reminds me that life is short. Do not put off doing what you want in this life today and try to save it for later when the time is “right” or when it is “more convenient,” because there are no guarantees that tomorrow will come. It is a cliché but live everyday like it is your last. To me this does not mean go out and buy everything you ever wanted, etc. but instead it is a more about a frame of mind an attitude towards life. I try not to leave my daily encounters in a mess, because there may not be a tomorrow to apologize. I try to look at the bigger picture and answer the following question “is this topic worth it in the grand scheme of life?” If I die tomorrow will this topic be that big of a deal or was it blown out of proportion to what really matters in life.